Malachi 3:3

**Edited 12/16/08

I received the below article in an email and I am uncertain of its origin, but I found it encouraging. I am finding myself more and more thanking my Father for loving me enough to send me through the fire. He disciplines and refines those He loves. Amazing. Honestly, I have felt very much in the heat of the fire lately. I know others who are close to me are in the fire as well. What a comfort and a reassurance it is to know it is because my Creator wants me to be more like Him.

Malachi 3:3 says: 'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.' This
verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement
meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: 'He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.'

She asked the silversmith if it was true that, He had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, He not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the
entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the
flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, 'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?' He smiled at her and answered, 'Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it.'

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Not a Corinthian....a child of God

I Corinthians 6:9-11 is an amazing group of verses. I have to admit that upon first reading it I was not inspired. I felt like it was condemning and just reminded me that God is a God of wrath and judgement.

9Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do
not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor
male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor
drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11And
that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you
were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our
God.

But then, a small word was pointed out to me: were. The past tense of “are” meaning….no more. Once you WERE these things, but now you are washed in the blood and sanctified by God. I have a hard time separating myself from the things that I once was. Satan is good at making me believe that when I struggle with sin the old me is not really gone and that God knows I’m a hopeless case. This is NOT what scripture says. According to Paul we will all continue to struggle against the flesh, but it is that struggle that sets us apart. This is not a license to sin….do not misinterpret what I am saying. But it is FREEDOM in knowing that we are still God’s children and He is still perfecting the good work He began in us….even when we sin. News flash: we are all going to continue to sin. Just because daily it isn’t huge sin doesn’t mean we are perfect.

Recently I have fallen back into some of my old habits. I admit that this was due in large part to me not trusting the Lord to make me happy for fulfill my desires. As a side note to any of you who think you can make yourselves happy: YOU CAN’T. I knew I couldn’t. The decisions I was making were fun in the moment, but even then, and especially later that night or the next day when I was alone and quiet, my heart was in turmoil. Scripture tells me that turmoil was caused by the Holy Spirit grieving my spirit.

How amazing! Amazing that my God cares enough about my relationship with Him that he has the Holy Spirit GRIEVE me when I am at odds with Him so that He can bring me back into relationship with Him.

Mulungu ni wambweno

Mulungu ni wambweno is Nyanja for "God is good all the time". He is good even when we don't like His answers.

It is with a sad, but peaceful heart that I announce to the world (which as we know makes it real) that I will not go to Zambia in 2008.


Sad because I will not see the faces of the boys I have grown relationships with over the last 2 years.....sad because I will not get to have Paul Mulenga sing Feliz Cumpleanos to me on June 16....sad because I will not be a part of the amazing work that FLMI is doing in the lives of thousands of kids in Lusaka....sad because my heart is in Africa.





Peaceful because I know this is what is right for me at this time....peaceful because I feel the Lord asking me to be still and trust Him....peaceful because as much as I LOVE being a part of this ministry I feel zapped and dry right now and if I were to pursue serving I would be doing it in my own strength.





I don't feel like my work in Zambia is done forever. I pray it is not! Who knows? Maybe the Lord will surprise me again in Februrary and say "Ok, no, actually you ARE suppose to be there this summer." - like He did in 2006. I don't put anything past my God. But I do know that for now His answer is NO and I have to accept it.





I love you all and thank you so much for your support of me and this ministry. I hope those of you who have become involved will continue to support or go to minister to these children in person. They are amazing, and the things the Lord teaches you about Himself (and yourself!) while in Africa are priceless.














Pictures from the top (left to right): (1) Some of my Jesus Army kids dog piled on me and Precious. (2) My friends wishing me a happy birthday - Chishemba, Godfrey, Abraham, and Innocent. (3) a picture of me and the "big" boys of Jesus Army. and last (4) Esnart and Chi Chi....crazy girls!!!!

Joyful, Joyful (part I)

There is so much amazing stuff in this song! I almost don't know where to start. Part of me thinks I should start at the beginning, but my Zambian nature wants to start with "victors in the midst of strife". Ahhh decisions.


Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee,
God of glory, Lord of love;
Hearts unfold like flow’rs before Thee,
Op’ning to the sun above.
Melt the clouds of sin and sadness;
Drive the dark of doubt away;
Giver of immortal gladness,
Fill us with the light of day!

Wow. He IS a God of glory and love. Lately I have been so focused on his wrath and anger that I forget the other ways He describes Himself: slow to anger, compassionate, and abounding in love. I couldn't remember exaclty where this was found, so I searched that phrase on Biblegateway.com and do you know what came up? No less than TEN places the Lord is described as such. I know there is more than that but I don't have time to search deeper. TEN! I know a lot of you will not read any further because this blog is getting long, so if you read nothing else read this:

GOD LOVES YOU! It doesn't matter what you've done or how far you think you've walked away. He is always ready and willing to offer forgiveness to the repentent heart. So PLEASE don't spend another minute away from Him because you think you don't deserve His love. The fact is, you don't deserve it. None of us do, but He is GRACIOUS and MERCIFUL and offers it to us anyway!

Ok, now for the scripture:

Exodus 34:6And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness,

Numbers 14:18'The LORD is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion.

Nehemiah 9:17They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them

Psalm 86:15But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

Psalm 103:8The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.

Psalm 145:8The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.

Joel 2:13Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.

Jonah 4:2He prayed to the LORD, "O LORD, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.

Nahum 1:3The LORD is slow to anger and great in power; the LORD will not leave the guilty unpunished.

It is not His desire that any should suffer, perish or be destroyed. He waits patiently for those He loves and gives second chances. He is a God of glory and love. This is the reason hearts open to Him. We love because he first loved us.

Stay Thirsty My Friends

This Dos Equis slogan is on bill boards across Austin right now, and I have to say it makes me sad every time I pass one. Most of you know that I do drink in moderation...this is not going to be a holier than thou rant about the evils of any alcohol consumption. No, this is about the lifestyle and desires that the bill board is advertising. I find it incredibly ironic that this slogan is in stark contrast to the words of my Lord in John 4:

"Jesus said to her, "Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again,
but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty
again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water
welling up to eternal life" (vs 13-14)

This ad is encouraging people to continue looking for their happiness and fulfillment in the world...and encourages them to "stay thirsty" or "keep looking". Jesus blatantly tells us He wants to permanently quench our thirst, our search for fulfillment, our need for acceptance. He tells us that in Him we can have LIFE. The original Greek word Jesus used for "life" is the "zoe". For the Stoners reading this you should recognize that "zoe" does not just refer to a physical, living, breathing kind of life. No, ZOE is life abundantly, to the fullest, life that does not end in the death of our physical bodies.

The enemy wants us to "Stay Thirsty" because he knows if we find the Living Water that we will never thirst again, and will have found our salvation and eternal happiness in Him. To those of you finding "happiness" in frequent inebriations and casual hook-ups, I challenge you to ask yourself if you are finding true happiness in these events? Or do you walk away thinking there must be more? Does the physical pleasure of the moment really bring lasting fulfillment?

Know that I ask these questions not from a place of judgement, but from a place of love and understanding. I have lived the life of instant gratification, and all the while I felt empty inside. It wasn't until I began to surrender my life (yes, I say "began" because for me it is a daily process) to Christ that I began to understand what "fulness of life" meant. It wasn't until I allowed the Lord to become my happiness that I learned what it was like to have lasting gratification. Jesus loves you more than you can comprehend, and wants to be your Living Water even more than you want the immediate gratifications that this world can offer you my friends.

If you find yourself tiring of the "gratification" this world can offer and want to find lasting peace and satiation please know that I am always open to talk. Also, the Book of John is a great place to start if you are questioning Christ and what He can offer. If you are more of a listener than a reader, check out the Austin Stone Community Church's online sermons.

in CHRIST i am LOVED

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

Think about that. It's a verse we all know. Even non-believers have heard this spoken, seen it on signs at baseball games, or had it flippantly tossed in their direction in an attempt to win them to Christ.

But for a moment, sit back and read it as if you were hearing it for the first time.

For God so loved the WORLD. You are part of this world, this verse is written specifically for YOU.

How much did He love it? Enough to sacrifice His only Son. Because of our sin we are separated from God's holiness (Romans 3:23). There is no human who is capable of the righteousness that is required to be in communion with God. But that's not how the Lord wants it. He wants to have a relationship with you. He wants you to boldly approach His throne. But you can't do that in your sinful state. And so, He sent Jesus. A perfect sacrifice. Fully human and fully God (John 1:1, 14). He knows all of the desires and temptations of the flesh because He lived in the flesh. Think on that for a second. I do not serve a God who is so far removed from my state of being that He cannot have empathy and sympathy for me. He has been in my shoes. I digress....that's another thought for another blog.

Jesus said He loves us just as the Father loves Him (John 15:9). Because of that love, and His desire to glorify the Father, He gave up His rightful place in Heaven, and took on the clothes man so that we would have the chance to know Him (Phil 2:6-8).

You are loved by God. Creator of the universe. You are loved by Christ. The God-man who suffered and died to fulfill a law that no other human who has ever lived or ever will live could fulfill.

Sit in this knowledge. Meditate on the simplicity and complexity of this love.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

Who am I? Who is HE?

Who am I to think that the Lord will speak truth through me into another's life? No. Who am I to doubt that the Lord will use me to speak truth into another's life?

Who am I to doubt that the Lord of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is unable or unwilling to save my friends? Deliver Austin? Make His glory known in Iraq?

He is "I AM". Creator. Savior. Deliverer. Lover of my soul.

I cry a few tears for the orphans of this world. For the mother's who lose children to disease and war. For whole families who live and die without ever knowing the Power of the Resurrection. I cry a few tears. My God ACHES for the men of Al-Qada to know Him as Savior. My God YEARNS for the children living in Tunisia to call him ABBA.

Lord Jesus, I have prayed to ask you into my heart as my Savior, but now I ask that you allow me into your heart. Burden my heart as you are burdened for this world. Help me to love others - not just some others, but everyone - the way you love them. Remind me that the earth is your footstool...footstool. How amazing, and big, and capable you must be!

*note this post began at World Mandate, and the enormity of what God was laying on my heart kept me from attempting to finish it. I apologize for the randomness of it, but I hope that God will use it to prick your heart as he speared mine with these truths over the last month.